Okay, so when I started this blog, I promised to be transparent and share the good, the bad and the ugly... Well this is a little bit of the ugly!!
I have struggled with my weight since high school. No, I was totally and completely out of control, but I certainly was never happy with my weight, and always wished to be 10, 15 and/or 20 lbs lighter at about all times. When I was a junior I started to pack on the pounds and by the end of my senior year I had jumped from about 150 lbs to almost 200 lbs. When I got married, I decided that I had finally had enough, and I started to live a healthy lifestyle. I lost 35 lbs and was back into my 170's. It felt GREAT! :) and then... Prego girl came along and all Hell broke loose!! 3 babies later and 50 lbs heavier = not very pleased!!
I have been trying to lose weight without telling many people for a long time, because by golly what if I fail, and then everyone will know!! But not only has it kept everyone from knowing that I am failing, it has also kept me from the encouragement that I might need in order to be able to succeed! On top of that, I am only giving myself every excuse to be able to quit!! That's dumb!! So, I'm sick of it!! I want to lose some weight! There you have it. And if I'm not losing weight, then I am failing!! Ta Da!! This is me! It just happens to be one of my ugly sides!!
I know this much, I don't know very many ladies who don't want to shed even just a few pounds. Here's the deal tho, how come?? Is it because we want to be healthy in every area of our lives?? Or is is because we have this idea of what every woman should look like, and we just don't fit into that mold?? It would be a lie if I told you that I don't have any of those thoughts. Actually lets get real, Most of the reason I want to lose weight is because I don't feel pretty! I know that's sad, but maybe if I can admit it, I can overcome it!!
Father, Help me to remember that my worth is not in this world, but rather it is in YOU!! Help me to want to lose weight so that I can be the best me, healthy in all areas of my life, instead of feeling insure and ugly!! You are bigger then me and my issues and you can help me to overcome!! Lord, I want to be able to celebrate the little victories, and to give You all the glory through my weight loss process. And when I fail, because I will fail, help me to give it back to you and move forward!
Seeking You, ~ Hi-D~
More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that
suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and
character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because
God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who
has been given to us.